I would rather be someone who forgives too much

Than forgive not enough.

One day you’ll realize why I am the way I am

But by then, it’ll be too late.

I wanted it to be me so badly.

If it’s one thing I’ve learned

It’s that I can’t make you love me if you don’t.

But it’s your loss, not mine.

Because I could have given you the world.

Well

That blew up perfectly.

Dilemma

It ain’t that easy for you to pack up and leave him
But you and dirty got ties for different reasons
I respect that and right before I turn to leave

Tonight I fall asleep with him on my mind

Even though I fully know I shouldn’t.

My life mottos clash

I’m constantly stuck between “Train hard to eat hard” or “FOOD OVER HERE FOOD OVER THERE FOOD EVERYWHERE HOLLA”

It almost makes me laugh

My best friend wants to get a job as a barista and doesn’t have a resume prepared so I looked for mine to send to her to use as a reference. While doing so I found a file that said “NINE DAYS UNTIL I GET TO TALK TO XINLEI” that was written around the first and second week of April last year and I obviously was like “what, when did I write this…” and opened it. A little earlier than this time last year, Xinlei had her exams and we decided to not talk for 9 days so she can focus on studying cause when me and her talk, it lasts for forever. So I started a diary of how my days went without her and wrote in it how I would normally talk to her and left random bits of my life and work on it. Along with those random bits were stuff about this guy I liked at my workplace. And now here I am reading back on how and why I started like this guy who ended up being a douchebag most of the time and I’m just so speechless at myself. I mean if you read this thing, I sound so annoying and stupid. But I can’t get myself to delete it. I mean on one hand I do sound like a completely dumbass but on the other, it was written on such a innocent mindset. I mean it makes me sad on some extent, but I can’t get myself to delete it.

I constantly need to remind myself that you’re not mine to keep

And it’s beginning to really suck.